In a church I pastored several years ago, one family adopted a little five-year-old girl. Born to a “junkie” mother, the child had already experienced more of the ugly side of life than most people do in a lifetime. She had learned to survive, but she didn’t know how to live. She knew how to hate, but not how to love. In many ways she seemed an impossible case.

A series of foster homes lay behind her. She would speak in passing of “Mother Karen,” and “Mama Becky,” and “Mommy Ann.” All of them had let her down. Now she had been adopted by a Christian family and promised a permanent home. But she didn’t know about permanence. All she understood was temporary–and she was not about to let herself be hurt again.

She was so sure that she was going to be abandoned, that she did everything she could to hurry up the process. She was a master at disrupting a household. Because she had been abused beyond belief from babyhood, no punishment could control her. At times her new family despaired of ever reaching her.

As long as she remained convinced that her bad behavior was going to result in her rejection, she continued to rebel. The breakthrough came for her only when she finally understood that no matter how bad she was, she was still going to be accepted. Only when her new family finally communicated unconditional acceptance to her was she able to begin to heal.

Only then did she discover that disobedience was no longer necessary.

One of the things that helped was for her to clearly understand the consequences of certain actions. The consequences were fair, not harsh. But she was not allowed to misbehave “for free.” At the same time, she slowly came to understand that the consequence of disobeying was not to be rejected and sent away. For as long as she was willing to remain in the household, her place was secure.

Sometimes we have looked at God in the same way this child looked at her new parents. We have been so sure that He was going to reject us because of what we are, that we keep on being what we are! We keep on sinning because we don’t believe we are forgiven. We remain defeated because we have no assurance that He accepts us even while we grow.

Does this mean that sin is OK, that we can break His law and go unpunished? No, wrongdoing does have consequences. But being rejected by God doesn’t happen to be one of them–as long as we remain “in the family” and continue to come to Him for healing and forgiveness and power.

Steps to Christ, page 52, puts it this way:

“Some seem to feel that they must be on probation, and must prove to the Lord that they are reformed, before they can claim His blessing. But they may claim the blessing of God even now. They must have His grace, the Spirit of Christ, to help their infirmities, or they cannot resist evil. Jesus loves to have us come to Him just as we are, sinful, helpless, dependent. We may come with all our weakness, our folly, our sinfulness, and fall at His feet in penitence. It is His glory to encircle us in the arms of His love, and to bind up our wounds, to cleanse us from all impurity.”

First John 3:2 says,

“Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.”

Our part is to make sure that now we continue in relationship with Him as His sons and daughters. His part is to insure that whatever needs to be done to make us like Him, will be done in time.

Jesus loves to have us come to Him just as we are, for that is the only way we can come. He sets no limits on the number of times we can come and still be accepted. He loves us because we are His children, not because of any good in us. And when we finally come to understand that we are loved and accepted by Him, we will begin to heal. Accepting His acceptance makes the difference.